Where it all began…

Way back nine years ago, Tyra Banks had a dream: to discover the fashion world’s next superstar. Unfortunately, that dream was never fulfilled, but she did create one of the best reality shows in history. Yes, it’s had its up and downs, but it’s hard to deny how entertaining it all is.

So, Cycle 1. Good grief was it cheap. The photoshoot budgets, the judging room, everything. And it also took place way back when the internet was still sucky, so there doesn’t seem to be much trace of high quality photos for this cycle. But whatever, on with the rankings!

Week One: JLo By Jennifer Lopez Rooftop Swimwear Shoot

I kinda like this shoot, it was definitely one of the better ones this cycle. Very cheap, but still somewhat effective as a shoot. But I must ask: why are they all wearing stripper heels? Surely the budget wasn’t that low…

1) Giselle

This one is a force to be reckoned with. Super photogenic and legs for days, Giselle is definitely one of the stand-outs of Cycle 1. I love her confidence here, I love how swimsuit looks with her skin, I love the wind in her hair. Great start for a great girl.

2) Adrianne

Adrianne is one of my favourite winners, and this was definitely one of her best shots on the show. Her face is just flawless, and her body is slamming. The bikini looks great on her, she probably got the best one. I also love the pose (unpopular opinion?) – it kinda does make it look like a shoe ad, but it’s not taking up the focus like in Tessa’s (see below), and overall it makes it different to everyone else’s.

3) Katie

Katie is smoking hot, but I still don’t see how this is “too sexy”. Sure it’s sexier than everyone else’s, but I wouldn’t call it “hoochie”. Her hair looks great, the bikini looks amazing… and really, what’s wrong with a little sexiness in a bikini shoot? Such bullshit.

4) Nicole

A pretty good start for an overall very mediocre girl. Nicole was the tallest at 5’11”, but she looks about nine feet tall here – those legs are crazy long. It’s the best her face looked in a photo on the show, but it’s not great – she looks a little mannish. And I’m not a big fan of her curly hair. But overall, it’s quite good, and easily her best photo. Also, she got the best backdrop, hands down.

5) Robin

Another personal best here – I hate Robin’s portfolio overall, but this is really not that bad at all. She looks quite youthful and feminine (she’ll go on to look neither of those things in her later photos), and her body looks pretty good (aside from her massive thighs…). I hate that she wore a sarong though – get over yourself, Robin! Embrace your size! And if it was about showing too much skin, you’re in a modelling competition. I totally get the nudity thing, but surely bikinis are fine.

6) Elyse

Given how scrawny Elyse is, this could have been a lot worse. I mean, she still looks wildly out of place in a swimsuit photoshoot, but she’s working it like the pro she is and ended up with a half-decent photo. Her face looks a little unsure, but it’s still not all that bad.

7) Ebony

Oh, Ebony. I don’t know how I feel about her. Sometimes I loved her personality, sometimes I couldn’t stand it. But if there was one thing she was consistent with, it was her terrible modelling. This isn’t so much bad as it is bland, but there’s still so much wrong with it. She looks super masculine, her pose is boring, she’s gazing off vacantly, and the bikini just looks strange. And she’s doing the finger-in-the-bikini-bottoms thing Janice told Katie off for doing, yet she got first call-out on the show. Cycle 1 was weird.

8) Kesse

Good things first: her face looks great, and I love how her hair looks. That’s it. That’s all I like about this photo, yet it’s still probably Kesse’s best. Her left hand is distractingly gigantic, her tits look bizarre, her thighs are huge, and her head looks disjointed from the body, like it’s been cut off and shifted a few inches to her left.

9) Tessa (Eliminated)

Tessa: what are you up to? Why are you posing like that? We can barely see the bikini at all. This totally looks like a shoe ad, and a mediocre one at that – her face is a mess, and her hair looks weird. Do not want. And stop scratching your ass!

10) Shannon

Ew. Shannon, no. Stop. This is all wrong. Where are your boobs? Why do you look thinner than Elyse? Why are you only smizing with your right eye, making the left one look twice as big? I don’t know whether I’d eliminate Shannon here, knowing what she’s capable of in future, but yikes. This is not good at all.



  1. Giselle (1.0) 1
  2. Adrianne (2.0) 2
  3. Katie (3.0) 3
  4. Nicole (4.0) 4
  5. Robin (5.0) 5
  6. Elyse (6.0) 6
  7. Ebony (7.0) 7
  8. Kesse (8.0) 8
  9. Tessa (9.0) 9 -Eliminated Week 1
  10. Shannon (10.0) 10

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  1. #1 by alltopmodelblog on May 17, 2012 - 2:40 am

    Yay, a new way to waste my time. I love reading ranking blogs like this and your a pretty good writer.


    1. Nicole
    2. Katie
    3. Giselle
    4. Robin
    5. Adrianne
    6. Kesse
    7. Elyse
    8. Tessa
    9. Ebony
    10. Shannon – GROSS.

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