Archive for category ANTM

Walk Like This

Week Eight: Baby Phat Runway Show

So, Elyse got eliminated before the runway show, because she didn’t want it as much as the other two. I don’t know how to feel about this. On the one hand, I agree with the judges, but then again, Elyse has been the most consistent girl in the competition, photo-wise. I guess I’ll eliminate Elyse for the sake of convenience. Oh well. On with the runway!

1) Shannon (runner-up)

I really don’t know anything about how to rank runway walks, even after watching 18 cycles of ANTM and countless other incarnations, especially when it’s this close. I guess Shannon’s was a little better – she was more confident and in control than Adrianne.

2) Adrianne (winner)

Not that Adrianne did poorly. Just not quite as well as Shannon. I don’t know what else to say about it. Interestingly, I found this photo which shows Adrianne on the runway in the dress Shannon wore, and another in an outfit we saw on the show.

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AVERAGES

  1. Elyse (2.50) – 6/1/1/4/1/1/4/2 – Eliminated Week 8
  2. Adrianne (2.56) – 2/2/3/6/3/3/1/1/2 – Winner
  3. Giselle (3.00) – 1/6/4/2/2 – Eliminated Week 5
  4. Shannon (3.67) – 10/4/2/5/4/2/2/3/1 – Runner-Up
  5. Katie (4.00) – 3/5 – Eliminated Week 2
  6. Robin (4.63) – 5/9/5/3/5/4/3/3 – Eliminated Week 7
  7. Nicole (5.67) – 4/7/6 – Eliminated Week 3
  8. Kesse (5.83) – 8/8/7/1/6/5 – Eliminated Week 6
  9. Ebony (6.25) – 7/3/8/7 – Eliminated Week 4
  10. Tessa (9.00) – 9 – Eliminated Week 1

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The Naked And Infamous

Week Seven, Part 2: Nude Merit Diamonds

I love this photoshoot, and it’s a real pity that Robin and Shannon didn’t participate. However, it makes it easy for me to rank them.

1) Adrianne

Once again, we have two different photos for Adrianne, the second turning up in the finale as they evaluated her entire portfolio. I don’t have a preference, they’re both flawless. (Gun to me head? The first one.) Her face is stunning. Her body is sick. These photos are perfect.

2) Elyse

Adrianne slightly edges out Elyse for modelling the diamond a little better. But Elyse’s is still amazing. Her body looks great – you wouldn’t know she was a toothpick to look at this photo. I don’t like the lighting as much as the lighting in Adrianne’s – I guess it’s a little sleazier, like she’s in a strip club or something. But But Elyse is still doing crazy good.

3) Shannon and Robin

Tied for third place in the averages with no photo for either.

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Overall, my call-out for the episode, combining both shoots, would have been:

  1. Adrianne
  2. Elyse
  3. Shannon
  4. Robin (Eliminated)

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AVERAGES

  1. Elyse (2.50) – 6/1/1/4/1/1/4/2
  2. Adrianne (2.63) – 2/2/3/6/3/3/1/1
  3. Giselle (3.00) – 1/6/4/2/2 – Eliminated Week 5
  4. Katie (4.00) – 3/5 – Eliminated Week 2
  5. Shannon (4.00) – 10/4/2/5/4/2/2/3
  6. Robin (4.63) – 5/9/5/3/5/4/3/3 – Eliminated Week 7
  7. Nicole (5.67) – 4/7/6 – Eliminated Week 3
  8. Kesse (5.83) – 8/8/7/1/6/5 – Eliminated Week 6
  9. Ebony (6.25) – 7/3/8/7 – Eliminated Week 4
  10. Tessa (9.00) – 9 – Eliminated Week 1

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Beautiful Girls

Week Seven, Part 1: Black and White Beauty Shots

These photos weren’t actually judged on the show, but everyone else seems to rank them, so why not. Tyra took these photos, so I’m placing all the blame on her for the worst photo, because the photography sucks. But let’s start with the best:

1) Adrianne

Adrianne’s face is just perfect. Look at that profile. She’s so beautiful.  I guess it’s worth noting that this is Adrianne’s first first call-out from me, and it’s really well deserved. They showed a different version in the finale when they announced her as the winner (SPOILER ALERT!!!!!!1), which I like more, but this is still amazing.

Adrianne 2.0 – from the finale

2) Shannon

Yay for Shannon finally delivering something worthy of a runner-up! Seriously, she’s been pretty middle-of-the-pack or worse every week, apart from her stunning snake photo. And this is gorgeous. Absolutely stunning profile. I love what she did with her arms, it makes the photo more unique than the others.

3) Robin (eliminated)

Who knew old-as-dirt Robin could look so young and fresh in a photo? This is wonderful. It sucks to bottom two it, but Adrianne and Shannon are both doing ever-so-slightly better – I guess they’re just more modelesque. But really, wow. If only Robin looked this good every week, it might have made up for her out-staying her welcome for weeks.

4) Elyse

Like I said, it’s not that Elyse is doing poorly, it’s the shitty photography that makes this the worst photo of the bunch. Her face doesn’t appear to have any bone structure here, But it’s not ugly at all – I don’t think Elyse could look ugly if she tried. Just a lot more bland than everyone else. Tyra, you got some ‘splaining to do.

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AVERAGES

  1. Elyse (2.57) – 6/1/1/4/1/1/4
  2. Adrianne (2.86) – 2/2/3/6/3/3/1
  3. Giselle (3.00) – 1/6/4/2/2 – Eliminated Week 5
  4. Katie (4.00) – 3/5 – Eliminated Week 2
  5. Shannon (4.14) – 10/4/2/5/4/2/2
  6. Robin (4.86) – 5/9/5/3/5/4/3
  7. Nicole (5.67) – 4/7/6 – Eliminated Week 3
  8. Kesse (5.83) – 8/8/7/1/6/5 – Eliminated Week 6
  9. Ebony (6.25) – 7/3/8/7 – Eliminated Week 4
  10. Tessa (9.00) – 9 – Eliminated Week 1

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Midday In Paris

Week Six: Wonderbra Ad in Paris with Brad Pinkert

Worst shoot of the Cycle, period. This should have been really good, but somehow it all went awry. No one’s doing well, you can barely see the lingerie in most of the photos, and the photography is terribly amateur. Where are Nigel Barker and Mike Rosenthal when you need them?

1) Elyse

It’s almost sad that this is the best photo of the week, because this really isn’t that good at all. The poses are awkward and unprepared, as if this was just a candid test shot to check the lighting or something. There’s nothing going on in this photo, it’s just two people standing there. However, it works the best as a lingerie ad, because you can actually see it (hideous though it may be). And Elyse is just so modelesque that she can stand there doing nothing and still look amazing. But still, terrible photo.

2) Shannon

Oh, God, this shoot. I don’t even know what to say. You can’t see the lingerie at all here, aside from the belt part (is that what you’d call it?) of her thong. This is a terrible photo, but it gets second place because I like the dynamic between Shannon and Brad. I liked that the show got him especially for Shannon, and that we get to see a more playful side to her here. Also, this is the only shot where we can see his abs and his crotch… damn.

3) Adrianne

This is like a sexier version of Shannon’s photo. I don’t want to come across like a slut-shamer, but it really doesn’t work as well as Shannon’s because of it. Again, we can’t see the lingerie at all. But at least Adrianne looks hot, unlike…

4) Robin

BACK FAT, BACK FAT, BACK FAT. God, could they not have spared us from that ghastliness with a few minutes of Photoshop. For me, that really destroys everything good about the photo: she has a great profile, wonderful neck extension, and she’s showing the bra nicely. But that back fat, ugh. She also looks super pissed, which is no good for an ad campaign.

5) Kesse (eliminated)

There are no redeeming features of this photo. At least I could find some nice things to say about Robin’s, but Kesse’s? Nope. No neck. Stiff body. Awkward positioning and composition. Zero chemistry between the models. We can see right up both of their noses. His hand looks gigantic. We can’t even see the tower properly here. Ugh, just awful.

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AVERAGES

  1. Elyse (2.33) – 6/1/1/4/1/1
  2. Giselle (3.00) – 1/6/4/2/2 – Eliminated Week 5
  3. Adrianne (3.17) – 2/2/3/6/3/3
  4. Katie (4.00) – 3/5 – Eliminated Week 2
  5. Shannon (4.50) – 10/4/2/5/4/2
  6. Robin (5.17) – 5/9/5/3/5/4
  7. Nicole (5.67) – 4/7/6 – Eliminated Week 3
  8. Kesse (5.83) – 8/8/7/1/6/5 – Eliminated Week 6
  9. Ebony (6.25) – 7/3/8/7 – Eliminated Week 4
  10. Tessa (9.00) – 9 – Eliminated Week 1

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Jump Up, Jump Up and Get Down!

Week Five: Reebok Ad with Clinton Portis

This shoot… eh. So many issues. Most of them are weirdly cropped so that you can’t see their shoes, despite it being a shoe ad. Clinton adds absolutely nothing to most of the photos. The elimination was absolute shit. Let’s just get this over with.

1) Elyse

Elyse managed to do everything right here, but it is Elyse we’re talking about. She’s in another league compared to the other girls. She probably benefits from her photo not being strangely cropped, but still. The shoes are in frame, and she’s selling them really well (if you can picture how the shoes would look in everyone else’s full shots, Elyse is doing the best). The pose is dynamic, and she’s actually interacting with Clinton. This is one of the few photos where he add something to it. Go Elyse!

2) Giselle (Eliminated)

Wow. Best pose, bar none. THIS is how you do a jumping shot. She’s using all her limbs, and they’re all in control. She has remarkable control over her face as well, something many ANTM girls fail at in jumping shots. She’s penising a little, but that’s probably the stylist’s fault. I only place this second to Elyse’s because she’s not utilising Clinton at all. And where the fuck are her shoes? Seriously, I watched the episode. She was wearing shoes during the shoot. Did she take them off for a couple of frames? It’s a shoe ad, Giselle. What are you doing? That said though, why eliminate Giselle for a lack of self-confidence, when you can eliminate others who can’t model…?

3) Adrianne

Adrianne’s athletic body is perfect for this shoot. Her limbs are perfectly in control, her right arm looks awesome. She’s selling the one shoe in frame really well, too. Really, this, like Giselle’s, could have been my first call-out, but she didn’t use Clinton at all, and her pose isn’t quite as amazing as Giselle, but still very good.

4) Shannon

I do really like this, it’s unfortunate that it’s in the bottom half of the call-outs. The three above her are just light-years better. This was supposed to be a movement shoot, and she didn’t move at all – she’s just standing and posing, like a regular photoshoot. But at least she looks good doing it. Her body looks great here – like a healthy, skinny model, as opposed to her anorexic look from a few weeks ago. I do like the pose, but I wish she had moved more. Also, points for using Clinton – he’s not just derping in the background here.

5) Robin

Both the bottom two photos are hilariously bad. Her face is completely blank, her pose looks silly, her body looks horribly untoned. The weird cropping adds to the hilarity – where’s the rest of her body? The funniest part for me, though, is Clinton. I don’t know what it is – maybe it’s the way he’s framed by Robin’s arm and leg, drawing attention to him just standing there looking Clueless. It doesn’t look like he’s lustin’, though…

6) Kesse

I don’t think anything I have to say about this photo can top Janice’s critique:

“This looks like she escaped from a mental institution. This is the worst photograph I’ve ever seen. You look deranged, your arms look amputeed, your legs look amputeed, and it looks like you have a penis, I’m sorry.”

Granted, her likeness to Tyra is quite evident here. But Tyra can actually model, and Kesse is really just the poor man’s Tyra.

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AVERAGES

  1. Elyse (2.60) – 6/1/1/4/1
  2. Giselle (3.00) – 1/6/4/2/2 – Eliminated Week 5
  3. Adrianne (3.20) – 2/2/3/6/3
  4. Katie (4.00) – 3/5 – Eliminated Week 2
  5. Shannon (5.00) – 10/4/2/5/4
  6. Robin (5.40) – 5/9/5/3/5
  7. Nicole (5.67) – 4/7/6 – Eliminated Week 3
  8. Kesse (6.00) – 8/8/7/1/6
  9. Ebony (6.25) – 7/3/8/7 – Eliminated Week 4
  10. Tessa (9.00) – 9 – Eliminated Week 1

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Color is Cheesey

Week Four: Fresh Look Contact Lenses Commercial

“Fresh Look: Beautiful Eyes!!!”

So, I downloaded the first 14 cycles of ANTM, and got so caught up in watching it (no really, I’ve almost finished Cycle 5 – that’s all I’ve been doing in my spare time) that I forgot all about the blog. But I’m back, with semi-regular updates!

Ugh, ANTM commercials are the worst. They’re just so damn hard to rank. The ones in the early cycles in particular, because they’re not individual spots, but one commercial where everyone gets three seconds of screen time. Some awesome person uploaded each girl’s performance for the week on YouTube, which I’ll link with my rankings so you can watch them.

1) Kesse

Finally we see Kesse’s beauty presented to us. It’s so sad that she’s just not that photogenic, when in motion she really is gorgeous. Her line delivery was perfect – relaxed, casual, just like you’d see in a real commercial. Kesse’s voice is great for stuff like this. She also moved really well.

2) Giselle

This isn’t a great shot of Giselle, but she really did look beautiful in the commercial. Her lines were great, she came across as personable. The judges can take their stupid comments about her self-confidence and shove it.

3) Robin

I really wanted shots of the girls with their names in the corner, so it’s a real pity that Robin’s looks so derpy, because she did look really pretty in the commercial. Her voice sounded great – she managed to tone down her accent, unlike someone else – and her delivery was pretty good too. This may be Robin’s best performance on the show.

4) Elyse

I love that the director said about Elyse’s performance that “nothing was forced” – I hope he watched the show to see Elyse complaining about how stupid the whole thing was. But Elyse is amazing, so she pulled through and faked her way through it, fooling the director into thinking she was into it. She did very well, just not as great as everyone else.

5) Shannon

Shannon’s line delivery was a little too forced, like she was over-enunciating each word. It sucks, I really like Shannon, but she really didn’t do all that well at the start of the competition. I love her raspy voice, but even that didn’t really help her here. Her eyes looked pretty crazy the whole time too. Overall, her performance really wasn’t too bad – not as good as the four above her, but much better than the bottom two.

6) Adrianne

Adrianne looked breathtakingly beautiful in the commercial, so it’s a real shame her voice is so grating. I don’t understand why they didn’t give her a different line that she could say properly though…

7) Ebony (Eliminated)

Oh, Ebony. You looked so pretty here! Why couldn’t we see that in a photo? Her commercial was terrible though, it was a pretty justifiable elimination. That skip thing she did was all wrong, and her read was pretty flat.

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AVERAGES

  1. Elyse (3.00) – 6/1/1/4
  2. Adrianne (3.25) – 2/2/3/6
  3. Giselle (3.25) – 1/6/4/2
  4. Katie (4.00) – 3/5 – Eliminated Week 2
  5. Shannon (5.25) – 10/4/2/5
  6. Robin (5.50) – 5/9/5/3
  7. Nicole (5.67) – 4/7/6 – Eliminated Week 3
  8. Kesse (6.00) – 8/8/7/1
  9. Ebony (6.25) – 7/3/8/7 – Eliminated Week 4
  10. Tessa (9.00) – 9 – Eliminated Week 1

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Hiss and Hers

Week Three: Beauty Shots With Snake

Hands down the best shoot of the cycle. Everything works – the setting, the styling, the make-up, the modelling… even the bad ones aren’t that awful this week, just mediocre. So without further ado, photo of the weeks goes to:

1) Elyse

UPDATE: ANTM’s Facebook page just uploaded a large version of this, which I had to throw in here. Score!

One of the best photos. In. The. History. Of. America’s. Next. Top. Model. What can you say really? It’s just perfection. She’s so unfazed by the snake that you might assume it was a scarf or a necklace at first glance. Her Twiggy-esque make-up looks great, as does her pixie cut. The asymmetry of her shoulders just add a je ne sais quoi factor that make the picture so much more amazing.

2) Shannon

Well look who finally stepped it up. So beautiful. Shannon has this amazing fire and intensity in her eyes here that works wonders for this shoot. Again, completely unfazed by the snake – you barely even notice it there, she’s so confident looking. I love her hair, I love the gold foil thing, I love her snarl. Great photo.

3) Adrianne

Yay, I got a large version of this one!

Adrianne’s bringing her A-game again, looking hot as hell and crazy confident. I love her Hamburgler mask (love Adrianne for that reference – it’s totally not the mask of Zorro…), it makes her eyes look even more fierce. And the snake looks awesome – in Elyse’s and Shannon’s it kinda blends in, but here it grabs your attention right away.

4) Giselle

First of all, I don’t like that gold splatter thing going on here at all. It kinda looks like she has acne/freckles like Cycle 16’s Dominique (who’s look I just didn’t get). That said though, I think Giselle is pushing through that ugliness to give us something still quite beautiful. If you can picture it without the gold everywhere, it’s a very strong effort from Giselle. Her eyes are piercing the camera, and I love how it almost looks like she’s channelling the snake – both of their heads are angled the same way.

5) Robin

I must say that this really isn’t all that bad. Robin does look kinda pretty, although she definitely looks her 26 years. I do like the styling – the makeup and the snake look great together, and her makeover was a vast improvement (where she got “a hair colour from H-E-double-hockey-sticks” and “I look like an albino prostitute” from, I’ll never know… but then again I’m not really familiar with prostitute trends…). Her eyes are dead though – compare to the four above her, and there’s no life at all in this picture.

6) Nicole (eliminated)

Nicole’s performance prompted Tyra to impart the immortal words “smile with your eyes” for the very first time on the show. And even with Tyra barking that at her, the final result still displays dead eyes. Clearly her elimination was a result of disobedience. But also, she’s pulling her bitchface, her mouth is crazy tense, and her eyebrows look insane. Not good.

7) Kesse

Oh, Kesse. I love how the prettiest girl in the competition can’t even do a beauty shot right… even the great styling isn’t enough to overcome Kesse’s flaws as a model – seriously, the Twiggy eyelashes, the pink makeup, the white backdrop, the snake’s pattern, they all look great. But Kesse just looks confused about what’s going on. Her eyes are completely uncertain.

8) Ebony

Here he have the worst styling of the photoshoot. The black makeup does Ebony’s rough skin no favours at all. But Ebony doesn’t even look like she’s trying. She looks tired and bored. Blah. Easily the worst photo of the shoot.

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AVERAGES

  1. Adrianne (2.33) 2/2/3
  2. Elyse (2.67) 6/1/1
  3. Giselle (3.67) 1/6/4
  4. Katie (4.0) 3/5 – Eliminated Week 2
  5. Shannon (5.33) 10/4/2
  6. Nicole (5.67) 4/7/6 – Eliminated Week 3
  7. Ebony (6.0) – 7/3/8
  8. Robin (6.33) 5/9/5
  9. Kesse (7.67) 8/8/7
  10. Tessa (9.0) 9 – Eliminated Week 1

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